She is stressing me out. Her 3 husband died 14 years ago and he made me swear I would take care of her, so part of that was to make sure she just did not sit in the house in Gods waiting room My wife God bless her put up with taking her on family vacations. Why do people have to be so manipulative? Now my mom and my sister want to come over to sort through her things, I told them I couldnt join them because I was going to eat at my moms favorite place with her friends. I learned from hospice nurses its not uncommon for adult children who hate their step-mothers to pull this stunt. Trust me you do not knw. As hard as it is for many of us to admit, countless families who never imagine there would be conflict over material things are suddenly overwhelmed by disagreement over estates and belongings. I am prepared for the family vote (God, I hope it doesnt come to that) to come back no, but then it will be so much easier for me to really cut the wheat from the chaff from my family for once and all. We will have nothing more to do with them. Lets face it, thats what friends are for. Friends play a significant role in the bereavement and healing process. , He went into the garage and took some of his Fathers tools no one wanted. These are the parts that struggle with reasoning, memory, and long-term thinking. They may try to plan the funeral without getting anyone elses input. This may seem obvious, yet so often, people criticize the person who was left behind directly or indirectly. His father would be heartbroken to know they is treating me this way. I would say contact the lawyer, if you are told no will, I would seek legal advise with another firm to what your options are. Underneath the cause it said kidney injury, aspiration and mental decline. My grandmother died in 1998, then my grandfather remarried in 1999. In grief, I reached out to another old friend who I fell out of touch with. She kept going on about how beautiful she thought I was. Last I texted my brother saying He did not give us all the personal keepsakes we asked for and if He could ever find it in his heart to give us them to us one day we would be greatful. She told a friend the sooner Sarah kills herself the better & i dont know anyobe who can help me re advise about thhe limited time to arrange a mortage . I guess this stuff happens all the time. I totally relate to them. Learn how your comment data is processed. My father passed away from melanoma very quickly he was going to write a will with inspiration from my only true friend in hospital but my brother pushed him to go home and not have chemotherapy. When she answered my call, they were just getting in the car to return home from the concert, and my mom asked if I wanted to speak to my cousin where they stayed. Shame in them They will rot in hell, William March 11, 2016 at 6:06 pm Reply. We must pay her out for her share as she doesnt want it and by the way dont use any of dads money for the repairs it needs just cut her a check! I have had no support from anyone. This is a sad situation, We asked my brother for certain keepsakes we wanted, ( copys of family genealogy in the Bible, and or the family Bible, and copys of old family pics of great grandparents and relatives on both sides of Mom and Dad and copys of parents Wedding album and some other personal Keepsakes we would have liked to have which He didnt give us. Carolyn Hax: Spouse still rehashing the past after parent's death She had 11 hopsitalizations. Nevertheless, I stayed around constantly getting my hopes crushed that my mom and I could connect. In December, 2001 I was still feeling a shock so massive that every day I woke up I still felt like I was barely in this world. I would never had guessed that things like that can happen. He later remarried but died in 2006, with my mother being the only of his 4 children to care for him. As a family, we have had an awful year six months of hell with our daughter whose relationship broke up after 7 years and kept trying to take her own life , hanging, overdoses , one so severe that we nearly lost her . My aunt did not give my grandmother a proper funeral, did not put an obit in any of the papers, sold my grandmothers house a month before she died (she had poa) without telling anyone and then on top of that, my aunts daughter bought and closed on a house four days before my grandmother died. It hurts badly. All rights reserved. Younger people typically wont know what to do or say when one of their friends suffers through loss. But I was doing mothers wishes not to fight. Eventually died. We get that handled and her funeral went smooth. Instagram. Im supposed to sign paperwork that doesnt even list the amount Im signing away. Quotes about how difficult an unsupportive family can be. My step mother has only asked one daughter to accompany her to scatter dads ashes. LolaKSpeaks November 30, 2019 at 7:13 am Reply. I went to get my mom an outfit for her to wear and when I got there, my brothers had given away EVERY THING not even a pair of underwear there. My dad told me everything. WYG has published articles that have been very helpful to me in my grief after my daughters death in November 2017 and a year later when my mother passed a year ago this month. My resentment is becoming so severe that when she passes, I dont care if I ever speak to or see any of them ever again. Who is now dead to me. You can do something much later, maybe next year at her birthday or the anniversary of her death. Scott meggison November 23, 2018 at 9:07 pm Reply. She had shared a home with my brother and his son for many years My nephew was a real piece of work and had always been extremely rude, even calling my mother crazy right to her face because she suffered from dementia. Do it fast and if they threaten to hurt,to harm you at anytime. Anyway months go by my older bro stopped doing the grocery shopping ( this was his job so I could stay with mom) he would pick up things here and there but when I needed specifics he would just blow me off. Call or text to ask for help and support when you need it. My mother was disgusted as the court paper showed that her own son had told the court that My mothers mind is like that of a child. And we let him go. I was THREATENED indirectly by the 3 sisters through a male cousin whom enquired at the funeral parlour when my mothers funeral would take place, they went BEHIND MY BACK. But nothing this far. When we got her home that week she lost the use of her legs. This led to them having a very codependant relationship. Mum rang me yesterday and told me that she is seeing cars turning in next to our house but when she goes to check nothing is there. Some people are ready right away, some people want more time before sorting through items. I was told if I did not get involved I would be put in jail. There is no easing the pain of this immense loss, but it sounds as though both her wisdom and goodness are things she has passed on to you. Hang in there, you will become a stronger person with character. If I were in that position I could never empty my Mothers apt and keep everything or give it out without asking my other two brothers what they would like and whats important for them to remember Mom and Dad, So its hard for me to understand how my brother can do this. I am all alone. She is so afraid I will open the boxes and take something. How to Avoid Family Conflicts after the Death of a Parent Douglas July 26, 2017 at 12:27 pm Reply, Im glad for this website, to know that Im not alone. I will pray for you, that you will soon know the Lord and learn how to forgive. 11 Signs Your Partner Is Unsupportive - Bustle She did not even put my name in it all. But i know nothing, she never came back to brief us of how much she has used and how far is the progress. I asked my brother to come help me plan the funeral and I got a nope, I am not doing that, so besides taking care of my dad by myself I had to plan his funeral by myself. My mother hated taking medication, for her to ask for morphine meant it was serious. How To Deal With Unsupportive Friends and Family Those two idiots didnt even have the decency to call me to let me know. This stinks to high heaven. One of the worst situations that can happen to a person is a fight at a funeral. She constantly offers to take time off work to help me go through the belongings at my parents home. She appeared to be in charge. To say I was shocked is an understatement but not as shocked as by my now 80 year old dads reaction. We had agreed that my mum would then come to me, as I had a lovely room with open bathroom. Grief tends to end friendships because of a lack of support when needed and expected and because many dont understand the depths of a suffering friends despair. Unfortunately, there is no simple answer. Issabelle December 29, 2017 at 7:27 pm Reply. I get upset as they have always been aggressive & money minded . Everyone I spoke to thinks Ive done nothing wrong. She got my brothers loyalty along with my fathers. I have disliked and even hated her a lot over the last 28 years, so I expect there will be no relationship after this. So this was a bonus to her. I did not find out until 2 days later. It took her income and all of mine to keep her out of a nursing home. And then, let go as best you can knowing you did your best. He hated them because they spanked him in childhood, and he has become an advocate of the very minority viewpoint that parents should never touch/ spank their children. Then she told me she didnt know why she felt so tired, too tired. ( let me get this quick note out of the way) I was in the hospital Dec of 18 awaiting a heart transplant which was the decision doctors made after I had a 90%RCA Dissection. My husband, up until recently, was the only sibling living in NZ, all the other were in Australia. We have many funny stories of how we got the job done at home when neither of us had the strength to lift a pen at some point but we still had to finish up for the night, with her in her recliner with her heated blanket, oxygen, table full of treats to keep her occupied if she got hungry during the night, and lots of water, ice, and juice on the table in front of her. Do not sign the papers until you understand what his medical bills were and how much you are signing away. Love your work October 6, 2018 at 6:10 pm Reply. My Mom passed away recently. When my mother and her husband could no longer handle going up and down the stairs in the house, and I was once again planning on moving out, they offered me the house, and they would take the apartment. I am not on bad terms with anyone, just have strong feelings about my poor Mom. Cry when you are missing him, or your mom, and let it out, then SMILE @ all happy memories. Robert Robertson June 10, 2019 at 3:29 pm Reply. You need to eventually forgive for your own sake more than theirs, but it is incredibly hard work and takes a long time. I saw how tired and absolutely depressed she was and she always said she was tired of being in that bed. Equally this will be the last thing youll be able to for him. But, I wasnt working, I lost my job due to having to call out in the morning over 6 times when I found my mother had hit the remote control on her recliner over the night and the chair lifted her up and she would slid onto the floor, that is how I would find her when I checked before I had to go to work. Things got severe in Feb 18. After the whole, we cant do this what about my marriage she discusses some other issue with him that he experienced growing up relating to an affair he witnessed and he wets mad at her for bringing it up and still ends up taking my wife to his bed. The detective had not shared any of this info which made me, the mom, start to think the aunt Might have been in contact with the murderers family. I wish I had a dragon.. Rene November 14, 2017 at 1:16 pm Reply, Stick to your guns. Im in the Dark alone not knowing anything ( it hearts ). The mother found out on day 21 the aunt had sent out the design to the victims best friends and never consulted the mother. The scattering was going to be like a final insult to them, obliterate them from the face of the earth, make it difficult for God to put them back together at the Resurrection (Christs Return). A My mother died Dec. 20. RIKA February 21, 2018 at 3:40 am Reply. Its not a 1 time mistake. I cant believe I never realized how greedy he is. Youve helped me, thank you tonight. Since her wishes were never in writing, the funeral home cant cremate her without all 5 siblings agreeing to it. She definitely needed to feel superior? i really would appreciate any advice anyone could give me on this as we are feeling quite desperate. And I feel like their actions have caused as to backtrackand now were depressed and grieving again. And he was 87. He would rather do drugs than provide a good life for his kid. If you live your life . She is a combination of pure evil and unchecked stupidity but in lifes cruel twist of fate, my Mother, Father, Brother , Aunt and dog all died last year. Unfortunately, this happens in the best of families. She neither works and has older kids. They didnt even write the acknowledgementsI did. Did he ever really love us? He died this summer of 2018. 6 days later shes back at his house again she has mixed emotions, she doesent want to do anything but he s manipulating her.